just a simple wish. for the new year.
forget everything that happened back then,
remove all the heart pain,



release me.

is love really blind?
does it really make u stupid?
because for all i ever remember, i would say nevermind, it's okay.
but there you are.. making me like a fool.

wtf? seriously la sial.. arghhhhhhh fuck!

i just wonder will you be there like how i was for you when im down? will you cheer me up when i lost my mood all of a sudden? will u keep talking crap to me when im bored?


i just wonder will you ever?

i blog in my sadness.
because i dont want my loved ones to see me sad.
because it is easier writing them down here without anyone judging you.


i potray my happiness.
because i want to share it with my loved ones.
because being happy is easy.


2010 has been sucky. but it gives me experiences. at least now i know how it is being sad. i dont want to have a resolutions for the next year. because i want to be me again. carefree. always running away from problems. because i just want to live my life. stupid, i know.

but this is me.

was drawing you a note, as usual. hoping to put a smile on your face, but u signed out. alas.. drawings all gone..

"dear you,

please dont be sad?

hey moon, will you put a smile on her face before she goes to sleep?

lots of love.
me."

will you be here? i miss you.

im tired.. i need a time on my own.. just like how everyone else needs.

but you just dont care. i dont think i even mattered to you.

maybe i was wrong all this while. even though i said i dont expect anything, i had that little inch of hope. but right now, all i can say is, i'm happy just to be friends with you.


you'll always be my special friend.bitch. love.

i dont understand. you keep using 'mood' as a reason. why do you have to keep playing around?






and seriously, dont make me lose my patience.

when at times i'm confused, just who am i to you. will you write me letters like how i would write to you? and will you read the letters i wrote?


i was selfish.evil.
i was happy when i heard that your relationships were on the rocks. i was happy when you said you felt angry at him. i was.. but i knew that wasnt what i want. for you. because all i ever wanted is for you to be happy.

sometimes i really dont know if i'm just being plain stupid or is this the way of life - being an easy going person who sticks to everyone, but no one sticks to me, helping others but no one helps me, trusts everyone but no one trusts me.

in the end i know, i have to stop expecting. but...

i dont want to sound, seem desperate. but hell, i freaking miss you. i just wana meet you, that's all........

and then come those times when i have to keep reminding myself... dont think too much into it, dont expect too much...just go with the flow.

hearts.you.

for everytime i tell myself to let you go, i see your face and i fall..
they said to move on, but where do i go?
my heart still hurts, but you dont know.
coz those pictures, songs, and name are still a sore.


i'm sorry, but i cant just shut my heart as i want to.

you are so near yet so far.. i cant even tell you how much i freaking miss you.